My new job has been making me really anxious. Being new is never fun, and the learning curve is extremely steep. I’m not certain what I’m supposed to be accomplishing on a daily basis. While the overall goal of our project is somewhat defined (though not concretely), where I fit in isn’t. And where I fit in today most certainly isn’t. Worse, I’m not sure who to turn to in order to find out. It is really frustrating.

I have started a new job before, and I have felt this way before–like I’m not being given appropriate tasks and goals. It is frustrating to not be immediately talented at (or even capable of) my job. However, at my last company, I never felt so much like I was thrown in the deep end without a goal or a life raft. Sink or swim! Here is what I”m doing in order to, hopefully, swim.

Hanging in there: This is my current strategy. I’m going to the meetings, and my name is attached to a block diagram I’m supposed to produce by Friday. I feel lost, but at least I have a task this week. Each week is slightly better than the last. These waves of anxiety hit hard, but I have to remember that this feeling is normal in a job like this. When I left my last job, my manager kindly stated that I was one of the top performers, despite having these similar feelings a couple months into my job. It will get better!

Seek Help: I need to do more of this. I have task lead, and even though he seems somewhat inaccessible, I really need to get more direction from him. I also need to work more closely with those on my team–there are some really smart people that I’m working with. I also need to find a mentor (informal or formal)–perhaps the woman I mentioned in this post, truly a self made success. She seems very smart and nice–I think if I offered to buy her a coffee once a month in exchange for some advice, she’d be up for it. It is a little awkward to approach someone and ask for a formal mentorship, but it could pay off.

Find a better fit: The management structure is set up in a way that if this project ultimately does not work out for me, I can talk to my manager and ask to be moved to something else. They had a spot for me to do more traditional work on another program, but I opted to work on this. If we win, this program is the future of our company and I have the chance to get in on the ground floor. This task is a pain, but the whole program is really key to our company. Still, I can’t help but wonder if I would be making more of a meaningful contribution on the other (easier) program. I recognize that this specific task is only through June. If it doesn’t work out, we will find something that does.

Recognize that I’m learning: I’m stretching the limits of my knowledge, and learning about an area I’ve always been interested in. It is stressful and hard, but when/if I get a handle on things, it will be extremely rewarding.

Did you ever feel like this in your job? Did I miss any other things I should be doing?