June Gloom

June gloom isn’t just applying to the weather this year. I should already be in my morning commute, but instead, I’m still in bed with wet hair, dreading it.  Now I’ll have to stay later, but at least the sun sets late and I can still go for a run for stress relief.

Work has gotten to the point where I’ve contemplated asking for an unpaid leave of absense until they get stuff for my next assignment sorted out.  Of course, I wouldn’t really do this (and I’m not sure they would let me anyway), and for all I know it could be several months until everything is processed.   I couldn’t take that financial hit if I want to have a wedding.

I am grateful to have a job.  I am grateful to have my job.  I am.  IThere are good things ahead for me — my new position is (I think) exactly what I wanted to be doing all along and lines up with my grad classes perfectly.  It also is (I think) a fairly secure position, but that’s relative to the program I’ve been on, which was (obviously) not so secure.

So good things are ahead, I’m convinced of this.  But I’ve never been this unsatisfied with my job, on a day to day basis.  If I had to give myself advice, I’d say to stay positive, keep on pushing until the end, pretend that people actually care about the results of the next couple weeks.  They don’t — managers have ceased attending our status meetings, so it is just whoever is left (we’ve shrunk by at least half) telling each other our own status.  It’s ridiculous.

And it is so so hard to stay positive.  I think this is one thing I like about being in classes — when work is unchallenging and lame, I could at least focus on my studies and be challenged.

I feel like I’ve been treading in my career — I spent 1.5 years at my first job, and just when I was getting compliments and felt valued, I decided to move to California.  Now, I spent 1.5 years on this job and… well to be honest, the whole time the assignment wasn’t the best fit, though I learned a lot.  I just can’t wait to get into a position and just STAY for a little while.  Long enough to develop, to become valued, to contribute in meaningful ways.

Enough whining.  Have you ever felt like this?  Did you discover any magic remedies to make it better?