“Pressuring” your boyfriend to marry you?
This is great. A bit off-topic, but great.
Call me new-fashioned, but I believe that as an educated woman in my late twenties with my own assets, ideas, experience and opinions, I shouldn’t be waiting on my partner to make one of the biggest decisions of our lives on his own. What if I have expectations about marriage based on my religion, values or traditions? Shouldn’t he know that before he proposes? What if I want to be the one to propose? What if I don’t want to get married? What if I have some debt that I want to pay off before we make it legal? What if he does? I fully believe that if this is someone that I legitimately want to spend the rest of my life with, I should be able to talk to him about anything. Talking about marriage is not “pressuring for a ring.” It is creating a sustainable relationship. I am not a coy, blushing girl waiting for my over-the-top surprise proposal. I’m ballsy and strong and independent. He loves me because I’m opinionated, so why would I hide my opinions about our future?
It doesn’t apply to me anymore, but as someone who dated their husband for 5-6 years before getting married… I had to answer questions about our future to many well-intentioned friends and acquaintances. When I answered honestly, my answer would sometimes include an expectation of when I thought we’d probably get married. “But doesn’t he have to propose first? Or are you planning that part as well?“ No, I don’t need a proposal to discuss and plan my future with the man I love, but thanks for your concern. (That comment was so rude that I seriously re-evaluated that friendship.)
I’m sharing this for all the rest of the new-fashioned young women out their who are dating great guys that they plan on marrying, but who, for whatever reason (or for no reason at all) are not engaged. And for their friends.
Anyone out there in that boat?