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Overall, I’m spending way less now that I live with T than when we lived apart. This is solely due to rent. I would guess that every other area, spending has increased or held constant.
When we lived apart, the little expenses that occurred due to the relationship really annoyed me sometimes. I don’t care if it sounds stingy, but it was really annoying to be left with no cereal/snacks/etc. after we spent the weekend at my place (which we almost always did, due mostly to my preference). It was annoying that I was the only one buying gas (He’s car-free. To be fair he spent $$ to use public transit to get to my place). It was annoying if I offered to take us out to eat more, even though I make significantly more at this point in our life. Even if it might be “fair”, it would bother me. (I was also a little more budget crazy at that point.)
But that has vanished. Part of it is due to logistics. All our food lives at one apartment now, and even though we eat slightly different things, we buy everything together and split the cost on the joint card. Sure, he may eat all the bagels (that I had no interest in anyway), but it just isn’t a big deal.
There’s also a smaller distinction between “mine” and “his” (except when it came to my pillows). We haven’t combined our accounts, but I think there is already the knowledge that if he spends $1000 on whatever, that is still $1000 less we will have in the future for our goals, even if my accounts and net worth stay the same on paper. I’m not saying we control each others spending — right now we are comfortable enough that we have some freedom. So I don’t quibble when he wants to buy a racing bicycle (he’s been super into cycling for months), and he doesn’t bat an eye when I suggest a $200 coat. (Ok, he batted an eye. And said it was really expensive. But I agree — it’s expensive. But if I bought it tomorrow, he’d respect it.)
I don’t when the shift occurred. Moving in together, getting engaged, or even just the realization that if I lost my job, T was there for me. Combined accounts or not, the commitment was there, and with that kind of support, it just seems impossible to get frustrated over the little expenses.
What about you? Are there little expenses that bother you?
(Credit to SS4BC and Laura for bringing up the topic in the comments of my pillow post.)
I was so happy with myself for finishing my homework before noon on Saturday (due Tuesday) that I didn’t accomplish much else school related the entire weekend. FAIL. I did upgrade to Windows 7 (free from my school!), meet up with a cousin i haven’t seen in almost a year, visit friends’ housewarming (apartment warming?) party, and cook some food for lunches for the week. Finally. I have lived of bananas and Lara Bars lately!
I have a midterm this weekend, but after that, the only work I have for that class is the final project. No more exams, no more homework! I also have a master’s project to create and have made very little progress so far, despite it being almost halfway through the quarter. YIKES. Luckily my project supervisor is pretty laidback, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have to come up with something decent.
After that, I’ll have my life back. Free time! And possibly more actual talking about personal finance.
This Week’s Focus
- School: Read 2 specific chapters in my textbook. Take notes.
- School: Read at least 3 papers, preferably much more, take notes
- School: Watch lectures on the day they come out
- School: Schedule Skype meeting with professor to discuss project — but I have to have something to discuss to do this!
- School: Review my homework assignment for the midterm — she said it would be quite similar.
- Social: Go to concert and bee a bee on Halloween
- Shopping: Buy fall/winter coat (40% off Wednesday coupon from BR). I tried it on this weekend.
[*I've (at least temporarily) abandoned monthly goals, but I do like keeping track of my progress and goals. My main focus for the next 2 months is getting through the quarter at school while maintaining quality work in the office.
Instead of monthly goals, I'm going to start each week (preferably on Sundays -- I'm behind already!) with a focus entry. I'll recap last week's accomplishments and next week's priorities. (This is something I've seen in many status reports at work.) Basically, it's a glorified to-do list for the week. ]
My weekend was great, but extremely unproductive, considering how much work I have.
T and I had a small birthday party at our apartment Saturday, and spent most of Friday night cleaning and shopping for it. We probably spent $150 on snacks, alcohol, cake and other supplies, but ended up with 3 more bottles of wine than we started with, and quite a bit of snacks and alcohol left. And a lot more cake than two people should eat by themselves. And lots of beer left (I made T buy decent stuff because I figured there would be leftovers). We definitely won’t be needing any alcohol for a long time!
I knew hosting a party was going to cost about that much. We didn’t say BYOB, but most people did anyway. Our neighborhood is pretty quiet, so we wrapped things up around 10:30 and most people joined us for a night out to the bars/clubs nearby. I think we still annoyed the neighbors a bit, but we warned them, said we’d get everyone out early, and we don’t plan to make it a regular thing.
The other exciting event was a trapeze class on the Santa Monica Pier! It was my parent’s birthday gift to me and T, and it was really fun. It was quite expensive for what it is ($60/class!), but something I’d been wanting to do ever since I saw it on Sex in The City and found out there was one in town. It’s actually a pretty good ab workout, and it was pretty exciting to fly through the air next to the ocean. Loved it!
I’m going to pay for all the slacking off I did this week.
nytregsuckme
This blog has been dwindling to mostly a list of goals and to-do lists and the like. Perhaps the occasional shopping post.
I’m not sure what to do about it. Accept it? Set up a reasonable (but consistent!) schedule? Take a hiatus until life settles down? (However, I’m a firm believer that life is always busy, and if something is important to you, you make time for it.)
Anyway, here’s a few financial things of note that have happened lately.
Had an AMAZINGLY great weekend in my hometown. Until today when I missed my (budget airline) flight and had to book a brand new ticket on a different airline. Non-direct. My mom actually picked up the tab, but I gave her $100, and think I should likely send her another $100. I don’t have to, but I do think she would appreciate it, and it feels like the grown up thing to do. I make and save plenty that it seem stingy not to. (The ticket was $330. . .) By the way, I”m never going to speak of this incidident again, and told T that we are going to pretend it never happened (except take away a expensive valuable lesson about budget airlines and being early, which I usually am).
Bought tickets for a concert next month with a new friend: $58 (and she still owes me for the same)
Planned the first birthday party for myself in several years, starting at our apartment then just going out. I did that mostly because I don’t want people to be loud too late — neighbors! We’ll probably spend money on some snacks and drinks. I didn’t say BYOB, but I assume some people will and others won’t.
Signed up for the fitness bootcamp after all. I’ll be paying tomorrow! It’s quite a huge money commitment for someone who claims gyms aren’t worth their monthly fee (!), but I think it’ll be interesting to try something new.
Debated whether or not I can pull off the colored wedding shoe trend, or if I’d just regret it. I think I could do it. . . Ok, this isn’t personal finance (until I buy the dang shoe), but still. What do you think?
Good: Going home this month to see my family!
Bad: Unless I want to use my precious vacation hours, I’m going to have to work 9-10 hour days all month long.
Good: My manager is (finally) putting me in for a promotion, roughly 10 months after it was first discussed.
Bad: I’m still “behind” where I should be. When I complete my M.S., I’m going to ask to be considered for another one. It will be fully justified by education and experience, but I’ll have to step up and do well on this program as well, and show that I’m valuable. Which I intend to do anyway! I hate that I’ve had to switch around so much, and I still feel like a newbie. I don’t know if it will work (two promotions in two years) but I don’t think it is absurd, and I need to try for it. I’m quite confident that (with MS in hand next spring) I could get a job elsewhere and be hired in at the higher pay grade without trouble. That isn’t what I want to do, but it has to be on the table.
Good: Accomplished two things on my “to do for fun in L.A.” list this weekend: Went to the rooftop bar at the Standard downtown, and went to a performance at the Hollywood Bowl (with fireworks!).
Bad: Oooo, this was all very expensive!!!! Next time I’ll get even cheaper seats for the Hollywood Bowl — you can hear from the back just as well. Also, you can bring your own wine (we didn’t drink) and picnic (we brought food) — it’s really a pretty good deal.
Good: My new blue sundress I bought for my engagement photos was successfully tailored (a complete dress size, at least) and I found shoes to wear with it. I’m excited!
Bad: My newish shoes (August?) are already coming apart on the bottom. I’m annoyed. They aren’t cheap-o shoes and even with daily wear, I’d expect them to last much much longer. I’m going to bring them to a shoe repair place and see what happens. It’s mostly just the soles.
It would be really easy to spend every dollar I take home each month. If I cut out my retirement contributions, it would be a bit harder, but I’m sure I could manage it. Designer shoes? Sure, why not?!
This month is tough. I generally do a good job with my savings, but I do not hesitate to drop my cash savings by $50 in a month order to allow us to go out for a night if something comes up. I’ll only be young once, I only feel like going to clubs once every six months (or less), so if the moment seems right, I’ll spend the money and seize the day. In general, no, a single night out is not usually worth $50. But on occasion, yes, it really is.
September is full of seizing the day.
I’m taking a vacation day today. We have some old friends in town, which is my main excuse, but I really just want a day off. Even if it means working 9 and 10 hour days next week. I’m sleeping in a little, then going for a run on the beach. Lunching with my friends, perhaps going to the Getty (if they want) or laying on the beach.
Today will be relatively cheap, but tonight, we’re going O-U-T. I hope at least, no firm plans yet. I love a good excuse to get dressed up and go out on the town. I like being in a crowded club with loud music, weak overpriced drinks (ok, that is not my preference, that is just how they come) and dancing (badly). I like pretending like I’m forever 25 (21 is just too young) and forever care-free. I don’t like it enough to do it often, but I like it enough to be excited about it when I make it happen.
This post is a bit disjointed — I’m actually writing it Thursday night after 1.5 glasses of wine with said friends. So whatever.
Honestly, I was going to write about how (I think) by the end of 2009 I’ll have made $50k in retirement contributions total. But to get accurate numbers, I’d have to dig out tax forums, and it seemed like a lot of work. Maybe later?
Happy Friday all!
I went to lunch with a coworker on my new project last week ($8 for sandwiches and fries). He’s about 10-15 years ahead of me in life, and among other things, he was giving me advice on when to buy a house. (Is it just me or do home owners always want the rest of us to join them ASAP?)
We talked about how my apartment is rent-controlled, which makes buying a home a harder sell for strictly financial reasons. He said something like I shouldn’t get sucked into paying so little rent, then had some advice.
“Here’s what I did when I decided I wanted to buy a house. I started ‘paying the mortgage’ before I had it. I figured my mortgage would be $3k, and my rent was $1k, so I started putting away $2k a month. Not right away, I started with $500 and increased it until I was at the right amount.”
Two things went through my mind:
1) hahahah, do you know who you are talking to?!? I am 100% aware of how to save money, and if there is a savings trick, I’ve probably already heard (read) about it. Not that it is not a valid trick, but… there are only a few savings tricks I like. Personally, I’d just start a “house fund” and save up as much as I could.
2) Tax deductions or whatever, I still don’t know if the rent vs buy calculation will come out in favor of paying $2k more a month in mortgage. There are a lot of details missing, but the market in L.A. is still SO high. I’ll do the math when my life is ready for it.
I verbally agreed with him (why not?), but said it really wasn’t a consideration because we couldn’t afford it right now (probably not 100% true — we could make something work, but we’d be very very house condo poor) and we weren’t sure our plans beyond the next couple years.
Buying will be on my radar, eventually. T still has two years left of school, and then we should have a more clear picture of where we will be for awhile. For now, the only way to convince me that renting is not a good idea is to remind me how we can’t have a dog. 
An ex-boyfriend once said he always thought he’d end up with someone more athletic and outdoorsy, citing a girl friend I had who liked to ski as an example. I wasn’t offended (I think the whole conversation was towards the end of the relationship and started with me suggesting maybe he wasn’t my dream guy). And I’m a klutz, naturally bad at all sports, and that’s just how it is. I don’t take it as a personal failing that I occasionally trip over non-existent cracks in the sidewalk.
Anyway, it is just amazing how little he really knew about me, but only because I knew so little about myself at the time.
The only foreign country I’d been to was Canada. I had never lived more than 5 miles from my parents house. I hardly had seen mountains, much less climbed them. I had been to the ocean twice in my life. I still thought maybe I’d get a PhD (what a bad fit for me!) and I’d never had a professional job of any sort. I accepted 7 months of cold and snow as part of my life.
As of today, I consider backpacking one of my passions. Outdoorsy and athletic enough for you? (I’m still bad at sports though.) I do not use the word passion lightly — I’m always uncomfortable with it because it seems so powerful. But backpacking is a passion of mine. (The others, as of today, are travel and writing. My job is not my passion.)
Hand down the most magnificent experience so far this past year was our little backpacking trip in Kings Canyon National Park last month (and uh, getting engaged). The first day was rough, but we settled into a rhythm and the quiet Alpine beauty of the High Sierras captivated me. It is difficult to explain the peaceful exhilaration of walking among the granite mountains and the contentment knowing you are carrying everything you need on your back.
But the real point is, it amazes me how much I’ve changed in five years. I’ve made choices that allowed (and forced) me to change. I plan to continue to make choices that help me grow. I wonder what passions I might uncover in the next five years. I cannot wait to find out! So much I didn’t know then, so much more I must not know now!
What are your current passions? Have they changed over time?
I never was much of a runner until about 2 years ago. I never could stick to anything through the winter (and refused to pay for a gym), so it was sporadic. When I moved to California, I got \more serious, partially to keep away the stress that came with all the changes in my life. I have big dreams and I’m willing to make bold choices, but when I push myself far enough, I get overwhelmed. Running along the beach definitely helped. (I still get feelings of “OMG, I live here!”)
I’m where I want to be with running. I’m not fast, but I think I can run a 5k in about 30 minutes. That’s all I wanted. I’m fit enough to conquer our backpacking dreams (44 miles in 4 days!), my other motivatoin. Now what?
It’s tempting to push myself more, to try to get faster, to consider a marathon (or half). But I’m going to call this good. In my busiest weeks, I’ll run at least once for 30 minutes. In a normal week, I’d like to run 3 times, 30-45 minutes each time. At least until I’m done with school, I want to stay in maintenance mode.
The same with money — I’m on the right track, but it is tempting to push harder, to save more, to deny myself more. But how much should I save now, and how much should I spend on things I enjoy now? My accounts are automated, I’m saving for the future, and I’m good at staying on budget (except clothes — my fashion strategy still isn’t as good as I wish). Now what?
And my career. I had my mid-year review and my manager again mentioned a promotion, this time giving a time frame of a month (to start the process). He got a lot of good feedback on my performance, which… well, let’s just say the past six months have been soul sucking at work, and I think I could have done better. On the bright side, my new position has lots of opportunities, lots of smart people, lots of room for growth. I can probably take on as much as I want. How hard should I push? Probably harder than I did in the past six months, but not so hard work takes over my life.
On the side, I want to start exploring a few hobbies that I know I don’t have much time for just yet. But I’d like to dip my toe in. I have time for that. Some options: Photographer, more serious efforts at writing, flower arranging (ok, this is just a 2 day class, but still), more yoga, some sort of dance that doesn’t make me feel like a klutz, and more reading.
I get overwhelmed if I try to push myself in too many directions at once. So for now, I’ll push myself with school and career, maintain with running and financials, and maybe dabble in some new hobbies just to keep me on my toes.
I mentioned the big TV we got earlier this month. I contributed just $300, T covered the rest. Then, all the sudden, he wanted a sound system & Bluray player! Ok, it wasn’t all the sudden. He’s been talking about the whole system for a long time, and claims that all he ever wanted when he was little was a sound system. (So dramatic, no?)
And so, with my opinion remaining a calm “I think it is silly and we should wait a few months and think about it, but I’m not going to tell you what to do”… He bought it! He skipped the bluray (the technology should be getting cheaper) in favor of a DVD player that upconverts ($100) and picked out some speaker system ($600). The TV was ~$1200.
Holy crap! It isn’t like we are movie/TV geeks (we don’t even have cable), and we spend a lot of time being active outdoors. But I guess, we do spend time a lot of our down time relaxing together with movies or TV episodes from Netflix.
Still, I’m not upset. I know his rough cash position (lets just say it is more than mine), and while he’s a bit behind on retirement, he’s also 2 years younger and promised that he could contribute at least $3000 to his IRA this calendar year.
This is an atypical purchase, and not his usual frugal behavior.. Some people have gone far enough to call him the dreaded word: “cheap”! But that isn’t the case at all, he just insists on living within his means. He thinks going out to eat at expensive restaurants all the time is a waste, but he paid for private pilot lessons one summer ($3000+?). He used to buy the crappiest cheapest groceries, but when I asked him to buy a plane ticket to visit me in Asia for 2-3 weeks while I was studying abroad, he did it. (At least $1500.)
I think he has some extra cash flow right now — his rent recently dropped and he’s doing a small amount contracting work on the side that pays ~$100/hr — a stark contrast to his grad student stipends/fellowships.
So, whatever. I guess we’re getting a sound system. It has an ipod docking station and he claims we’ll use it all the time to listen to jazz. Uh, ok… If it were up to me, we would have used the money to go on a vacation this fall or something. But that’s ok, we have a honeymoon to look forward to coming up, and I”m not sure what my vacation time looks like anyway.
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