It’s been a rough week or two, and it probably will be a rough month.  I woke up the other day in tears, and ended another day in tears.  I usually would be concerned about that, but one of them was just needing a good cry (see FB’s post for explanation if you are male).

All of it is short term stress due to slight over scheduling and still adjusting to my job.  It will all be over in a month or so, and that will be HEAVEN.

Here are some good things:

• Performance reviews are coming up soon, and I just got some great customer feedback that should get passed to my manager.
• By January, I should firmly understand my role and where I fit in on my team, and be ready to be a real superstar.  Yes, it really can take 6 months to become competent (at least in my industry)!
• By the end of December, you will have to call me Master!  If all goes as planned, I’ll have my M.S. degree completed!
• Running with my coworkers was a success, and once I’m ready to dedicate to it, I could start training for SOMETHING.  My coworker qualified for Boston — she’s hard core!
• Going home for Christmas!  Can’t wait!  (I think we’re just going to a friend’s for a Thanksgiving potluck.)

Not so good things:

• I can NOT stop “needing” new clothes.  And my almost brand new awesome black work pants got a small tear within 2 weeks.  I’m devastated!  (But plan to attempt a repair.)
• My raise was 3%, and I raised my 401k 3%.  My paycheck went down $10!  Thanks, California, for stealing an interest free loan from me!
• Canceled the Vegas trip.  I just can’t handle it right now.
• My dad probably will be laid off within a few weeks. My dad was laid off yesterday.  He’s been working 6-7 days a week 10/hr days for quite some time, so I would expect they’ll be (relatively) fine.  But still.
• You know that M.S. degree?  It is KILLING me to actually get it.  So.  Much.  Work.

I expect my sudden “need” for certain clothing items is a combination of actually needing cardigans and such for work and finally having room in the budget for it… and plain old retail therapy.  On one hand, my eye is on the budget and I’m trying not to go crazy.  On the other hand, I don’t have the energy to fight it, and if it lasts another month, so be it.  But once I finish school, no excuses!

Everyone has To Do lists, but have you heard of “Not-To-Do” lists?  There are a bunch of things I keep thinking I should do, but that definitely can and should wait!

I don’t know about you, but whenever I am supposed to start studying, I have this urge to start cleaning instead!  There are a lot of little projects I want and need to take care of eventually, so I’ll add them to my “Not To Do” list so I don’t forget about them.

Not To Do List (or, To Do… LATER!)

• Organize closets and dressers
• Get a few things to cheer up my office at work
• Go shopping
• Plan honeymoon
• Oh and all those wedding details.  April is coming FAST!
• Get passport application taken care of
• Figure out a long term fitness routine (join a gym?  Or what?)
• Update blogroll and other little blog maintenance (there are so many great blogs I’ve been reading since my last update.  I do intend to add you, but I don’t need to do it today!)
• Fuss with my 2010 budget and savings goals

To Do List (before Christmas)

• Keep working out at least a couple times a week
• Improve meal planning through weekend batch cooking (so I don’t survive on cereal or junk)
• Get Christmas shopping done
• I think I need an oil change soon?
• Finish my Master’s project
• Finish my project for my other class (no final exam!)
• Keep pushing at work to gain more responsibilities
• Be nice to T

Miss M commented on my previous post that she spends much more on fewer people for her holiday shopping, and that I was “quite frugal”.   I was surprised — I thought that I spent a normal amount!

It got me thinking though.  I don’t set my gift price points out of frugality, but out of what seems to be a normal amount to spend.  My parents do spend a fair amount on us, but besides the parent-to-child gifts, most gifts exchanged in my family seem to be about $50.

However, I make significantly more money than either of my siblings (but one has some family money from her in-laws to help out).  I’m thinking 2-3 times as much, though I live in an expensive city.  But does that mean I should be spending a lot more on their gifts than they spend on mine?  Or would that just seem weird?  I mean, my little sister already gives pretty small presents ($10-$25 or whatever) and I don’t feel weird spending $50ish on her.  I enjoy  it.  So maybe I should take that further?

Maybe I’ve hung onto my college mindset of “$50 is a good amount for a gift” for too long.  Maybe “real adults” should be spending more.  I kind of thought $300 for a baby shower gift was slightly insane.  But maybe it isn’t.  Maybe I’m the one who is slightly insane.

I’m curious.  What do you spend on Christmas gifts? Please give me details!  How much do you spend for a significant other, sibling, parent, grandparent and a young kid (that isn’t yours, but you love)?

(photo by di_the_huntress)

Not true.  I still haven’t accepted the reality of Christmas season with palm trees, sans snow.   Maybe by next year?

I budget a flat $100 monthly for gifts throughout the year.  Some months it is spent on birthday/wedding/whatever presents, but other months it just grows.  By the end of this month, my gift fund will have $590, which is roughly what I need.

• T:  $150+
• Mom:  $50
• Dad:  $50
• Sister 1:  $50
• Sister 2:  $50
• Sister 1’s BF:  $25
• Brother in Law:  $25
• Niece:  $25
• Nephew:  $25
• Grandma and Grandpa:  $25
• T’s family:  $50

Total:   $525

Of course, I usually go a little over my budgeted amount based on what I find for gifts.  I spend the most on T.  We go pretty small on gifts throughout the year, but at Christmas we spend a bit more.  Once I get through the holidays and my sisters’ early January birthdays, I might remove a small amount from the gift fund.  It seems like there is more than needed in it.

My other spending this holiday seasons should be pretty minor.  I already bought my plane ticket home, and I expect I’ll go out and get together with some old friends, but this will be offset by little to no food/gas costs for that week.

New Years Eve will likely be low key this year, but we’ll see.  I’m flying in that day, and if nothing amazing is going on, we’ll probably stay in or go out for a nice dinner.  If something awesome comes up, we’ll go out.  But I’m not going to chase plans.  If it is anything like last year, I’ll be jet lagged and tired!

In my September Wrap-Up, I talked about how I’m not really meeting my goals very often.  “If I don’t mean them, why do I write them?  If I do really mean them, why don’t I meet them?”

I like writing goals.  I like taking the time at the beginning of the month and noting what is coming up, where I’d like to improve, and how I’m going to do it.  But there are a lot of things I think I “should” do every month, and I just don’t.  I don’t make the time for them, they aren’t truly that big of a priority, but part of me wishes they were.  Everything can’t be a priority though.

I tried a “weekly priorities” entry last week, but it still didn’t really do anything to benefit my life, and I don’t think I’m going to continue it.

For lack of a better idea, here’s what is important to me in November.  These are not goals, they are plans.  Plans are something you intend to do, goals are something you strive to do.  Maybe goals will come back when i haven’t crazily overscheduled myself!

Work

• Obviously I have specific work related goals.  I’m still trying to get fully integrated into my new group and new role.   I need to become less hesitant and more proactive.    I’m generally proactive, but if I get tired and worn out and stressed, sometimes I just go with whatever the day throws at me and think I’ll deal with any of the unpleasantries the next day.  Then the next. . .    If I’m not busy, I need to ask what I should be doing.  If I don’t understand my assignment, I need to ask for help.  Etc.

School This is going to be the source of the most stress!

• Phone conferencing with both profs early this month to define direction of projects.  (I still haven’t done much.)
• Two preliminary project reports due pre-Thanksgiving
• Lock myself up next weekend to make some huge progress
• Get a lot of work done over Thanksgiving break

Finances

• Back to frugality!  I posted my budget, and I’ll post the results.  That pretty much encompasses my entire financial situation.
• But don’t stress about it.  This is going to be a busy month.  I have a feeling we’re going to be getting take-out and such more often than usual, which isn’t frugal.  But I’ll accept it in the short term.
  

Health

• Sleep.  I need to sleep to stay sane.  Again, 9:30 in bed, 10:00 asleep is my goal.  (Weekends screw this up!)
• I’m running with some coworkers once a week after work (starting next week!).  That should be interesting.  If I do one more run on the weekend, I shouldn’t lose all my endurance.
• Boot camp once a week for strength training.
• Try to buy lots of healthy-ish things that can be eaten without spending a lot of time preparing (fruit and veggies, of course — any other suggestions?)

Other

• Vegas Vacation!  This is just for a weekend, but we’re going to Vegas!  I think my mom and sister are meeting us there.
• Christmas Shopping – I want to get this done over Thanksgiving.  But NOT Black Friday!   Perhaps via the internet.
• Wedding – We need to touch base with our invitation friend.  And mail in our ceremony contract/deposit.   Other things can probably be put off for awhile.

I haven’t posted a budget in awhile, so here is my November budget.  I’m really kind of curious to see if I can make it if I’m really dedicated.

Income: This is estimated based on 17% 401k, a heck of a lot of taxes, health and other deductions, and my new (small) raise.

Roth IRA: I contributed a lump sum in January, then a fixed amount each paycheck (including 3 paycheck months).  At any rate, it is on track to be maxed out by the end of 2009.

Student Loan:  I think I’ve mentioned this is in deferment at 0%.  I set a variable amount (usually $25) in a savings account to ofset the balance, so I feel like I’m making progress.  But it is a really low priority.

Restaurant:  This probably will be the hardest number to meet.  We’ve been way over this all year.

Clothes:  Already spent!  Eeep!

Fitness:  I decided against the gym for November.  Realistically, I knew I wouldn’t go.  I’m doing bootcamp one time a week for the strength training, and running with coworkers after work once a week.  I also hope to get in one weekend workout.  Bootcamp is $67, which is a lot, and probably more than I’m willing to spend long term.  But in the short term, it is what I realistically can handle this month.

Travel:  I’m hoping to have some left over to put in the Travel Fund, but I’m also going to Vegas for a weekend.

Everything else is actually mostly contributions to “funds”.  Some people prefer not to organize their money this way, but I like it.  For example, I don’t have car expenses, but I plan to contribute $250 to my car fund.   But if I have a $25 oil change, I’ll net $225 to my car fund.

Raise:  I mentioned (on Twitter) I got a promotion (basically just a title change) and a small raise (~3% — my manager claims this is normal for mid year adjustments.  It seemed low to me).  I want to talk more about career ambitions soon (my manager mentioned another promotion in a year or two — I’m gunning for one).   Budget-wise I (at least temporarily) raised my 401k contributions by 2% and am waiting to see what my take home is.  I’m expecting to shuttle the additional budget towards my long-neglected car fund.  I am now at 17% 401k, but I probably should back off a little and focus more on cash goals.

Fitness: Bootcamp is over.   The truth is, I skipped out today (Friday).  I’ve been beat/stressed/exhausted and need to get to work early.   Finishing at 7 am, then getting ready, then commuting was just making me too late.  I need to figure out how to keep these results on my own.  I’m much stronger than I have been in a really long time, but I just can’t stomach the $200/month to stay in bootcamp.

Clothes:   In November, I’m budgeting for a new winter coat ($86) and some new black work pants ($64) for a total of $150.  Even though neither of those things are on my plan.  Even though I really need a brown cardigan.  You may have guessed by my precise dollar amounts I already purchased these two items (yeah, in October) due to the 40%  off BR coupons good on Wednesdays in October.

I, uh, also bought two button down shirts, but I think I’m going to return them because:

• I don’t love the short sleeve one (but I do like it!)
• For the long sleeve one, a “Tall” size would probably fit better anyway.  I have a long torso.
• It isn’t in the budget or the plan.  That’s about another $65 in clothes!
• The reason I own so few button-ups is because I find them unflattering.

It has been a long time since I regretted a purchase within a day or two of buying it.  Usually I only regret it months later when I discover it didn’t fit into my life the way I’d hoped.

Weekend:  OMG, Friday finally!  I have an exam this weekend, a Halloween party, and really, I should just lock myself in my apartment and actually do school work so I can graduate this quarter.  But all I feel like doing is collapsing!   Anyway, it is 7 and  need to head out the door NOW!

Overall, I’m spending way less now that I live with T than when we lived apart.  This is solely due to rent.  I would guess that every other area, spending has increased or held constant.

When we lived apart, the little expenses that occurred due to the relationship really annoyed me sometimes.  I don’t care if it sounds stingy, but it was really annoying to be left with no cereal/snacks/etc. after we spent the weekend at my place (which we almost always did, due mostly to my preference).  It was annoying that I was the only one buying gas (He’s car-free.  To be fair he spent $$ to use public transit to get to my place).  It was annoying if I offered to take us out to eat more, even though I make significantly more at this point in our life.  Even if it might be “fair”, it would bother me. (I was also a little more budget crazy at that point.)

But that has vanished.  Part of it is due to logistics.  All our food lives at one apartment now, and even though we eat slightly different things, we buy everything together and split the cost on the joint card.  Sure, he may eat all the bagels (that I had no interest in anyway), but it just isn’t a big deal.

There’s also a smaller distinction between “mine” and “his” (except when it came to my pillows).  We haven’t combined our accounts, but I think there is already the knowledge that if he spends $1000 on whatever, that is still $1000 less we will have in the future for our goals, even if my accounts and net worth stay the same on paper.  I’m not saying we control each others spending — right now we are comfortable enough that we have some freedom.  So I don’t quibble when he wants to buy a racing bicycle (he’s been super into cycling for months), and he doesn’t bat an eye when I suggest a $200 coat.  (Ok, he batted an eye.  And said it was really expensive.  But I agree — it’s expensive.  But if I bought it tomorrow, he’d respect it.)

I don’t when the shift occurred.  Moving in together, getting engaged, or even just the realization that if I lost my job, T was there for me.  Combined accounts or not, the commitment was there, and with that kind of support, it just seems impossible to get frustrated over the little expenses.

What about you?  Are there little expenses that bother you?

(Credit to SS4BC and Laura for bringing up the topic in the comments of my pillow post.)

I was so happy with myself for finishing my homework before noon on Saturday (due Tuesday) that I didn’t accomplish much else school related the entire weekend.  FAIL. I did upgrade to Windows 7 (free from my school!), meet up with a cousin i haven’t seen in almost a year, visit friends’ housewarming (apartment warming?) party, and cook some food for lunches for the week.  Finally.  I have lived of bananas and Lara Bars lately!

I have a midterm this weekend, but after that, the only work I have for that class is the final project.  No more exams, no more homework!  I also have a master’s project to create and have made very little progress so far, despite it being almost halfway through the quarter.  YIKES.  Luckily my project supervisor is pretty laidback, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have to come up with something decent.

After that, I’ll have my life back.  Free time!  And possibly more actual talking about personal finance.

This Week’s Focus

• School: Read 2 specific chapters in my textbook.  Take notes.
• School: Read at least 3 papers, preferably much more, take notes
• School: Watch lectures on the day they come out
• School: Schedule Skype meeting with professor to discuss project — but I have to have something to discuss to do this!
• School: Review my homework assignment for the midterm — she said it would be quite similar.
• Social:  Go to concert and bee a bee on Halloween
• Shopping:  Buy fall/winter coat (40% off Wednesday coupon from BR).  I tried it on this weekend.

[*I've (at least temporarily) abandoned monthly goals, but I do like keeping track of my progress and goals.  My main focus for the next 2 months is getting through the quarter at school while maintaining quality work in the office.

Instead of monthly goals, I'm going to start each week (preferably on Sundays -- I'm behind already!) with a focus entry.  I'll recap last week's accomplishments and next week's priorities.  (This is something I've seen in many status reports at work.)  Basically, it's a glorified to-do list for the week. ]

I stopped by Micheals this weekend and spent $9 to buy:

• Yellow Duct Tape $4
• Black little puff balls $2
• Black Wire $3

I decided that I would dress up like a bee this year!  I was excited about this idea, because who doesn’t have tons of black in their closet?  You can make it as sexy or modest as you want, depending on the outfit you choose.   Mine is tight, but no where near as revealing as what you will find if you search for ready-made bee costumes for grown ups.

I tested out my idea using an old cheap skirt I had — I think you could use a skirt you still wear since the tape seems quite gentle.  I can’t do the top in advance since it is fitted.  I made the stripes while wearing the skirt, so they are a little crooked (will try to fix!) and they aren’t as taut when the skirt is off.

I already had two coat hangers and old black nylons for the wings. I had a headband to attach the wire to for antennae, and black leggings so I’d look more bug like.  I’m going to try to use a swimsuit string to fasten the wings on.  I also want these yellow shoes for fun, but we’ll see.  They aren’t even the right shade, but I’m in love with mustard right now.

If you want your boyfriend to roll his eyes, you could also consider carrying a fake gun/knife — then you are a killer bee!