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We’re getting married, part 2

April 28, 2009

Thanks for all the congratulations guys!

This won’t turn into a wedding blog, mostly because I’m not really “into” weddings and I’m hoping I don’t get infected with the bridezilla virus that afflicts so many young women.  However, like other pf bloggers who are getting married (Paranoid Asteroid, Sallie’s Niece, Forrest on Finance), I’m sure the topic will come up, especially as it relates to PF.

Did I have any idea? About the engagement, definitely.   The fact that we were getting married wasn’t a surprise.  We’ve been together about 4.5 years and the timing is finally right, and we knew we were ready.  We had discussed that we intended on getting married roughly in the next year or so, so I knew it was going to be soon.  That being said, I probably have been answering “oh, soon” to the “when are you guys getting engaged?” question for maybe 2 years.

Did I have any idea it would be that day? No!  Either did he when he woke up!  T has had the ring for roughly a month, and was waiting for a good opportunity.  It has been kind of a lame month, we didn’t do any hiking or camping (his original plan), and did more moving between apartments, crying (me, worrying about job), homework, and staying in and watching Bones and House on Hulu.  So, not really romantic times.  He didn’t even know it would be that day until I decided to buy a bike!

The ring? There is part of me that wished I wanted a gemstone ring, or that I could be cool enough to say I didn’t want one at all.  I admire those people, but I’m just not quite that unconventional.  I did want one, and I wanted be a diamond, and I didn’t want yellow gold.  We didn’t have any heirloom diamonds laying around our family, so T picked everything out himself, which is what I preferred.  He’s given me a few piece of jewelry and had excellent taste, and I trusted him to do the research himself.  And he did a fabulous job.  A solitaire asscher cut, very sparkly, and the setting is X-prong style (i had to look that up).  Engagement rings never look as beautiful in pictures as they do on people, but here it is anyway.  I love it!

ring

The wedding? Um, we’ll see.  I want some sort of small beach ceremony, a white dress (because I’m a virgin, ya know), and photographs.  That’s about all I know for sure.  I do know some things I don’t want:  A giant party with big expectations and stress.  Centerpieces.  Wedding favors.  Signature cocktails.  Extensive venue discussions.  Registering for expensive china.  Talking about “my colors”.  Bridesmaids dresses that can never be worn again.  Maybe even bridesmaids all together?  Luckily, no one in our families has objections to us doing whatever we want — the moms both said “I just want to be there!”

Part of me wants to go full speed ahead and try to pull off a fall wedding, another part of me thinks waiting until spring is better.  We’re really not sure just yet.  People are already asking questions and I’m already getting a bit of a deer-in-headlights look.  Don’t get me wrong — I’m very very thrilled to marry T.  I think marriage is great!  It’s just weddings that are a bit frightening!   The life long commitment really doesn’t freak me out, but the process of getting there sort of does.

On a PF note, I changed the address of my renters insurance and also added on my ring.  Did you insure your ring?  And BTW, how much do you pay for renters insurance, particularly if you live in L.A.? Mine was like $200/year even with a $2500 deductible, and the ring insurance added about another $200/year.  It seems expensive and I didn’t shop around (yet).

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16 Comments leave one →
  1. April 28, 2009 10:00 am

    I am really surprised at the cost of your renter’s insurance. I have it here in New York (I live in Queens), and I pay only around $100 a year with All State (I just checked to verify: $101. It was slightly higher when I lived in Manhattan, around $115.) Interestingly, I totally thought I had raised my deductible to around $2,500 but I didn’t–I only have a $500 deductible!

    I think you should shop around a little, because it’s weird to me that New York renter’s insurance would be so much cheaper than LA. But maybe you are getting a good deal.

  2. April 28, 2009 10:09 am

    @LMM – no, i don’t think I am. I did my due diligence on auto insurance, but for renters I basically just got it in a hurry

  3. April 28, 2009 10:17 am

    I like the ring! Now i’m staring at my ringless finger. Lol. BF is still saving up for it. He asked me how much he needs to save up. Uuuhhhh. I have NO CLUE about the cost of diamonds and engagement rings since the range of them is way out there, but I do know the style and cut and all that.

    When I lived in Culver City, I remember paying between $150-$175 for renter’s insurance for the year. I don’t remember my deductible though. In Long Beach, it’s $119.

    And I like the way you think about weddings. I feel the same way!

  4. April 28, 2009 10:23 am

    My ring isn’t insured, which scares me every. time. I forget to wear it. (We also never got around to getting renter’s insurance, oops!) We checked with our insurance company, and they wanted $300. Now we’re waiting until we move.

    I’d say go earlier on the wedding. If you wait too long, you might get bored and accidentally surf over to The Knot and then discover yourself pining over $300 bouquets. Or you’ll fall in love with a Vera Wang dress even though you already bought a dress you like. Not that I know this from experience.

    I am so jealous of your beach wedding. That’s totally what I should have done. Although I may still get my Vegas wedding, so we’ll see…..

  5. April 28, 2009 11:05 am

    The ring is so pretty! 😀

    I’ve always wanted a beach wedding. I like the simplicity of it (or what I imagine as the simplicity – I’m looking forward to seeing how yours turns out!).

    We pay $200/yr for renter’s insurance (Assurant). An extra $200 just for the ring seems like a LOT!

  6. Jane St. Claire permalink
    April 28, 2009 11:38 am

    I did not insure my ring. Long-winded explanation: You buy insurance to protect against losses you cannot afford. I could afford to replace my ring if something were to happen, and frankly I would probably delay replacement and just wear a simple band until I chose to replace it. Also, the only circumstances I could imagine needing to replace my ring were pretty outlandish, and I take good care to make sure my diamond is secure when I clean my ring and I don’t wear it into the ocean where it might slip off. For me, there wasn’t enough risk to be worth mitigating. And I’ve had the thing 10 years now. Insurance premiums at that price would have nearly paid for it over again!

  7. April 28, 2009 12:12 pm

    @Paranoid asteroid – to be fair, the only reason I got renters insurance so promptly was because my 1st complex required it.

    @sunflowers – I hope it is simple too, that is my goal! I’m not sure why jewelery is so expensive to insure, but it is!

    @jane – True, but you also insure to mitigate risk, as you indicated. We certainly could afford to replace the ring if it were stolen, but it may be worth $200/year to insure it. I think T really wants to insure it, I’m certainly not opposed to insuring it… so, for now, we have it insured.

  8. April 28, 2009 12:48 pm

    Our rings are insured as part of our renters insurance and it didn’t raise the cost at all. We simply had to list it as a specific item and include the values in our overall coverage. We pay about $180/year. Not bad – but that’s the midwest for ya.

    I lost my ring for about a week last summer and dealt with our insurance broker about getting it replaced. All they needed was a good description (which is included with our receipts) and they would replace no questions asked. I would definitely suggest taking pictures from a few different angles and keeping them in your files. Will make it much easier should you ever have to replace it.

    As for any renters who don’t have renter’s insurance, you’re playing with fire…literally. A friend of ours lost everything she had because she didn’t have insurance and her apartment burned down. Thankfully nobody was home, but she had to start with nothing. It’s a small price to pay for the assurance that you’ll be taken care of in the event of an incident.

  9. Janet permalink
    April 28, 2009 1:52 pm

    I live in the Bay Area and pay about $230 to $250 per year (I can’t remember the exact number) for renter’s insurance with a $500 deductible and $20,000 coverage with AAA, earthquake insurance would have doubled the amount. You didn’t mention what your total coverage amount is (which sets the policy price).

  10. April 28, 2009 1:57 pm

    I love your ring!! It is beautiful. Classic.

    And I love that your moms were so cool about the whole thing.

    If you can get it, watch Slice.ca’s videos — Rich Bride Poor Bride to get an idea of what wedding planning is like

    Weddings scare me. So many things. So many moving parts. And people. And so much money

  11. April 28, 2009 3:22 pm

    Congratulations on getting engaged! It’s a special time and I’m glad you’re savoring it. For insurance, check out http://www.JewelersMutual.com. Our company specializes in insuring ONLY jewelry and jewelers and we’ve been in business almost 100 years. There is a free rate calculator so you can get an estimate. We are endorsed by the American Gem Society as well.

    With wearing such a big investment on your little finger, you’re smart to be insuring your ring. Which BTW is gorgeous! Have a delightful lifetime of happiness!

  12. Bonnie permalink
    April 29, 2009 6:47 am

    Love the ring!!

    It’s great that your moms are just happy about the engagement and aren’t pushing for any certain type of wedding. How refreshing!

    The only friends I know who insured their rings were those who had REALLY expensive ones.

  13. April 29, 2009 9:51 am

    I’m a little late to this, but congrats!
    We talked about insuring Bird’s ring about two days after I gave it to her, but have we yet….nope. Maybe someday.

    Have fun with the planning. Sounds like you have the right attitude about it all.

  14. El Cheapo permalink
    April 29, 2009 10:01 pm

    BLING BLING! Congrats again on the latest happenings…

  15. April 30, 2009 12:16 pm

    I love asschers, classic yet different. I think they are very elegant looking. Mine will be a 3 stone asscher cause Mr M is hung up on three stone rings. Can’t give you any advice on the insurance though, sorry. Congrats again.

  16. April 30, 2009 12:25 pm

    @Miss M – to be honest, i didn’t even know what asscher cut was (and either does Firefox spellchecker)! I tried on some a long time ago and wasn’t a fan of the round, so it seemed princess cut was the only other (common) option.

    I’m very impressed with T’s choice! I also thought I wanted some sort of side stones rather than a solitaire, and said as much. But I also said that I really just trusted him to choose and the only thing that was an absolute was no yellow gold.

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