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Staying at the wedding hotel… or not?

August 6, 2012

I’m going to a destination wedding in Napa next month.  I’m super excited, since several friends from my study abroad are going, including two flying in from overseas.  Amazing!

A few months back I reserved a room at the hotel where the “after party” is being hosted for $250/night after taxes.  The other 4 girls are all unmarried and coming solo, so they are all splitting a room.  Since I’m going with my husband, we are on our own.  The only available rooms are through the wedding party’s block, and you can only get the rate if you stay 2 nights. Now that the date is approaching, I’m seriously considering downgrading to a much cheaper hotel.

Wedding Hotel
Pros:  friends are there, it is super nice, won’t have to worry about uncomfortable beds
Cons:  Expensive at $500 total!

Crappy hotel
Pros:  Price, $150 for two nights
Cons:  Crappy, 1 mile from friend’s hotels

There are other hotel options, but I think my choices are to go big or go low.  The other low-ish priced hotels are not quite as close and roughly the same level of crappiness.  Besides, once I get to ~$300 for two nights, the savings just aren’t as compelling.

I did a rough wedding budget, and the weekend (including gift, wine tasting, meals out) will either cost me $550 or $900, depending on the hotel choice.  Part of me wants to treat it as a vacation weekend away and splurge, but part of me wants to think of it more as an obligation and save the cash.

I’m seriously torn on this one!  I’ve actually never stayed in a really nice hotel with T… so it is tempting.  But holy wow, $250 a night?  That is CRAZY.  (Then again, I didn’t buy a plane ticket from overseas!)

Yes, we can afford the extra $350.   But of course, it isn’t without a little pain!  What do you think?  What would you do?

17 Comments leave one →
  1. August 6, 2012 8:30 am

    That’s pretty pricey… I think I would opt for the cheaper hotel. It will be like $10 to take a cab home from the after party at any hour! haha

  2. August 6, 2012 8:34 am

    What would be your transportation between the crappy hotel and venue? Would that add to the cost or prevent you or t from having some wine?

    • August 6, 2012 9:41 am

      A very small add, at worst a $20 cab ride

  3. mochiandmacarons permalink
    August 6, 2012 8:47 am

    $250 kills me.

    I paid $500/night once. There were no more hotels left 😦

    I REALLY died at that price.

  4. August 6, 2012 9:41 am

    I would call and try to negotiate with the (nicer) hotel to see if you can just stay for one night (the night of the after party). I would stay at the nicer hotel either way, though, but I am kind of picky about hotels.

  5. Anonymous permalink
    August 6, 2012 6:16 pm

    yeah tough choice, but life is not all about money, friends and experiences are what you look back on, not a few hundred dollars for a valued friend’s wedding.

    • August 6, 2012 8:07 pm

      Of course it is not all about money. I’m just wondering how much extra “friends” and “experience” I’d actually get for staying in a very slightly different location! I’m definitely thrilled to be included at the wedding and don’t begrudge the cost.

  6. August 7, 2012 9:40 pm

    Personally, I think it’s totally worth it, only because I’ve been to a few weddings where I’ve had to stay in the hotel in the wedding party’s block of rooms and everyone partied the day/night before plus being so close to everyone was the best. The wedding was also in the hotel, so that just made things a whole lot easier.

    I know of family members and friends that didn’t stay in the hotel and they said later on that they regretted it. I guess it just depends on how close you are to the wedding party, and family + friends.

    • August 7, 2012 9:52 pm

      Thanks for the feedback! I actually will only know a small segment of the guests and am not super close to the wedding party – BUT the small group that I’m close to will be at the wedding hotel.

      I think you are right – but i’m just going to have to be careful with the rest of the budget

  7. Bonnie permalink
    August 8, 2012 10:05 am

    I think you could make an argument either way. My brother is getting married in Vegas in September, and we opted to stay at a hotel nearby where he and some of the wedding party are staying. I figure a cab can get us there quickly, and we get to stay where we want to and have an oasis away from the crowd when needed.

  8. Bonnie permalink
    August 8, 2012 10:06 am

    I would also consider the fact that you are not single. If you were single and planning on partying all night, then yeah–of course, stay at the hotel where the action is. But you’re married, and you’re probably not going to be up until 5, you know? Maybe I’m wrong. 🙂

  9. August 9, 2012 8:47 am

    I say go for the cheaper hotel ! You can still stay as last as you like, until you are tired or the party dies down, then take a cheap cab. Think of all the things you could buy for that extra money afterwards. I don’t think you’ll miss out on anything at all, other than a slightly less comfortable sleep. But its worth saving a few hundred dollars and almost cutting the trip price in half !

  10. belowhermeans permalink
    August 13, 2012 9:39 pm

    Cheaper hotel. It’s one night of sleep.

    • August 13, 2012 9:50 pm

      2 nights! but i do think you are right either way 🙂

  11. Kay permalink
    August 15, 2012 1:47 pm

    Think of it this way – you will already be seeing your friends the whole 2 days.. do you want to fork $350 to see them at night too? Chances are they’ll be talking for an hour and then catching up on their beauty sleep so they’ll look fresh during the wedding events.

    Add the $350 extra to the money you are already spending for the all adds up.


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