We’re expecting!

I am thrilled to share that we’re expecting a baby in November!  Yay for an extra tax credit! 😉 This is something that we have been planning and hoping for, and we’re very very excited.

Because we were trying I found out I was pregnant very early – before I was even 4 weeks along. I showed my husband the test and told him “this is positive” without fanfare – then immediately warned him of chemical pregnancies and miscarriage rates!   It certainly didn’t feel real for quite some time, but I was happy and grateful it happened relatively quickly without complications.

Physically, I hardly felt sick at all during the first trimester.  I was extremely tired, but rarely nauseated. I gagged over the toilet just once or twice, and didn’t throw up. I was tired, bloated, lost my appetite, and was more fussy about food – but it was quite manageable compared to what many others experience.  On the first day of the 2nd trimester, I got a huge headache/migraine that eventually resulted in me throwing up for the first time. Headaches have happened a few more times, and a similar headache+sick again last week.  Still, I feel good more days than I don’t.

Emotionally, the first trimester felt very fragile. I had envisioned a lot more excitement after finding out I was pregnant, but it was mostly just anxiety and worry until about 12 weeks. I had some minor issues that turned out to be nothing, but which made it hard to stay relaxed. My pregnancy books / apps also unhelpfully reminded me (more than once) that nausea and vomiting are a sign of a healthy pregnancy and correlate with lower miscarriage rates…  while I had no morning sickness at all! Who knew I’d be worried about not being sick?

People say that there is always something to be worried about, even when a baby is born.  This is absolutely true.  But since losing an early pregnancy is statistically fairly common, the level of anxiety simply isn’t the same to me. I can talk myself out of worrying about things that have a small chance of happening, but knowing 10-25% of early pregnancies result in a loss is simply terrifying. Biology is cruel. It took a solid 13 week appointment and clear genetic screen before my excitement overtook my worries.  However… The excitement is here, and the second trimester is treating me well!

I’ve started to think about maternity leave, but haven’t settled anything nor discussed detailed plans the people with whom I need to discuss. I have limited paid leave (short term disability) that will cover some of my lost salary, but don’t get the California state paid family leave.  Fortunately, finances won’t need to be the driving issue in leave decisions.  Keeping my career going and a foothold in current and future projects is my biggest concern.  And of course, child care! More on money stuff later!

We’re really excited, but we have SO MUCH TO DO before the baby comes!