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Parenthood: 3 months

January 20, 2019

Sleep:

The early part of the 3rd month was worse than the second month. She woke up 2-3 times a night to poop (and all throughout the day).  Once that stomach bug passed, night sleep started improving greatly.  On good nights, she wakes zero to one times between bedtime (8:30ish) and early morning (5:30).  This isn’t every night, but it happens. (Yes, I know about the four month sleep regression looming, and we’ll deal with that when it is here.) Getting her to bed at night can be a struggle. She has not yet mastered falling asleep independently, despite our efforts to encourage it.

Naps are terrible, with them suddenly shrinking to 40-45 minutes (or less!) when she was about 2 and half months old. She had a phase where EVERY nap was preceded by a meltdown. Now, just some (many) naps have a meltdown first, others just mild fussing. Since naps are so short, she needs many each day.  A day is easily consumed by trying to get her to nap.  It’s kind of a nightmare, honestly.  This is my biggest source of frustration at the moment. It is exhausting to be screamed at multiple times a day, only to get her to take a piddly 20-30 minute nap.  I worry about sending her to childcare without it being any better. (I also look forward to sending her to childcare since it can be someone else’s problem for a bit.) We can get longer naps if we wear her in a baby carrier, but even that is getting less foolproof. It requires active soothing around the 40 minute mark to get her to the next sleep cycle.  I keep reminding myself this can’t last forever. We will likely be doing sleep training when she’s older, because I can’t see this resolving on its own.

Growth and milestones:  

Her growth continues to be awesome!  She was probably about 11 pounds by the time she hit 3 months. She is so much bigger and stronger than the little peanut we brought home from the hospital! Her head and length are also on track.

Her smiles are more frequent, and we have cooing and other vocalizing – but still no laughs.  She discovered her hands and spent a lot of time staring at them and controlling them.  She’s started to interact with toys a little bit.  No signs of rolling over yet, but her neck control has gotten a lot better.

Personality:  

In her third month, we started to see a bit of her sweet personality – coos and smiles! This  makes playing with her a lot more fun.  She usually wakes, eats, and then has ~30-45 minutes of interaction before she starts to get tired for a nap.

She’s kind of a difficult baby – not incredibly difficult, but not easygoing or chill. She was frequently fussy, and total meltdowns are regular occurrences. This could be related to being overtired from her crappy nap pattern. As she hit her third month, the only really reliable soothing method remaining remaining was nursing.  Our swaddle and bounce and shush technique work sometimes – but are way less foolproof. Pacifiers still won’t work (despite both of her grandmas suggesting them, as if we hadn’t considered how much easier they’d make our life right now). She seems pretty sensitive – easily overstimulated by noise and visitors, and much more content and happy with calm interactions. Some of this is probably because she’s still young and new to the world. I’m trying to have patience, but the meltdowns really wear on me.

Money/Spending:

We didn’t buy a whole lot for her this month.  We had a stash of size 1 diapers that we got before she was born, and we are working through those.  I bought more footed pants, since I hate socks and occasionally want to dress her in something other than sleepers. She’s still breastfeeding well, so no need for formula at this point. She doesn’t need much!

Co-parenting:  

Things are still going well here, and  we are sharing the responsibilities as fairly as we can.

Feeding has become a smaller percentage of her care. She still eats many times a day, but she is more efficient, so it usually takes less time. Plus, she now needs more than just to be fed – there is more work to go around! I’m still doing bedtime and nights, with T taking over around 4a or 5a or whenever needed. We alternate nap duty (ugh) and playing with her during the day, and do baths together.

Looking ahead:

T is going out of town for a few days later this month, and I’m terrified. We are sending the dog to stay with friends, but it is going to be the first time I’m alone with the baby overnight – and it will be for multiple days. I’m sure we’ll survive, but I’m really NOT looking forward to it.  When he booked the trip, we naively thought she’d be easier by now… It is now too late to change plans, so I have no choice but to survive.

We have our first plane ride planned, tagging a visit to family with another work trip for T.  I’m a little less worried about this one, since I’ll have some help.  My mom is then coming back for another week to help out.  I’m so grateful!

I’m starting work in just a few weeks, part time. We have tentatively lined up a nanny share starting in late February, but need to finalize everything. The current plan is for me to be part time for just a few weeks, since this particular nanny share wanted to start ASAP.  If the share falls through for any reason, we’ll juggle childcare and both stay part-time until we arrange a different one.  I don’t think I can handle juggling this until she is (potentially) eligible for our preferred daycare in August – but we’ll see.  The plan is to keep her in the nanny share until she’s 2 if possible, but again, we’ll see.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. January 22, 2019 12:35 pm

    You know what was weird for us with childcare and naps? JB almost always napped longer and better at daycare. -___- I mean, great, but at the same time, WHY NOT HERE??, y’know?

    Do you need a hand when T is traveling? Let me know dates!

    • January 22, 2019 5:51 pm

      yes, I have hope she’ll do better in childcare! I’ll let you know dates. I’m sure I can handle it (dog is going away!), but if it happens to be days that are easy for you (haha), i would definitely accept a visit!

      • ellie permalink
        January 24, 2019 8:14 am

        Our doctor referred us to an early childhood person who specializes in sleep because my daughter wouldn’t sleep unless she was in my arms. The sleep person told me that kids sleep better at daycare because the day there is more tiring for them. (And oh, jealousy over your kid’s sleep at that age. Mine was awakening hourly when she was still 2.5. At almost 3, we’re down to 0-3 awakenings a night, which is so wonderful.)

        One other thing: my husband was traveling a lot when my daughter was a newborn. It wasn’t cheap, but I had a postpartum doula come for 4 hours a week for most of the weeks that he was away, and that made a huge difference in how the whole week would go. Generally they’d come, take the baby for a little bit and send me to take a shower, clean something, make something for me to eat for dinner for a couple of days, and have a conversation in which they just made me feel less overwhelmed and worried that I wasn’t doing the mom thing right. Definitely have people come over and let them step up to help if they want to– friends can be doula-esque.

        • January 24, 2019 2:47 pm

          For all of my whining in this post, she’s an amazing night sleeper for her age, and a great eater. My husband doesn’t travel often, but if he did, I’d totally hire help, especially when she was even younger.

  2. January 23, 2019 7:17 pm

    Solidarity, I could have written 99% of this post. Our other big issue is reflux (fairly mild I guess, nobody cares as long as he’s gaining weight) and gas (which wakes him every couple hours at night most nights).

    • January 24, 2019 2:45 pm

      I think probiotics seemed to help her digestion mature. Either that, or she just got older? It is hard to say, but the doctor did recommend them.

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