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Worst Lyft Ride Ever

May 10, 2019

This is apropos of nothing.  I was cleaning out my draft folder and thought this interaction was too bizarre and concerning not to share.

As I often do, I ordered a Lyft for a ride to BART as I headed off on a work trip.  The driver was an ultra creep.

Driver: This is a great area! Is that your house I picked you up from?
Me: “Yes.”  After answering and hearing his reaction, I realize it would have been easier to just lie about this.
Driver: “Yours? Or your parents’ house?”
Me:  “Mine.”
Driver: “Really, it is yours???”
Me: “Yes. Mine and my husbands.”  Again, I could have lied, but at least have established that I don’t live alone.
Driver:  :::Laughs knowingly ::  “Oh yes, your husband’s house!  Hahaha, yes, that makes sense!”
Me: “It’s mine and my husbands, yes.”  Totally annoyed at the implication.
Driver:  Makes a weird joke about how of course it is more mine than my husband’s, because I wear the belt in the relationship.  (Yes, belt.)
Driver:  Hahaha, but don’t tell him I said that!  I know how loyal women can be to their husbands.”
Me: “… ”  WTF??!?!

We then talk about tacos and what type of food I ate in the Midwest, which seemed to be a better direction for the conversation. Eventually, in response to a question, I tell him I’m flying across the country to the other coast.

Driver: “Wow, you have a long trip ahead of you!  You better sleep on that plane ride!”
Me:  “Yes, I’ll probably try.” I have no intention of sleeping on the plane ride, but this seems like an easy answer.
Driver: “haha, yeah! You can be like, ‘Bill Cosby, I need some drugs!!!’  Haha!
Driver:  “Bill Cosby is funny.
Driver:  “He is so old!”
Me: “… ”  WTF??!?!   Did he just make a Bill Cosby date rape joke?!?

Driver: “So, does your husband get jealous when you go out of town for work?”
Me: “Um… no.”
Driver:  “Haha, I would get totally jealous if it were me!  I’d be like, you need to quit your job and stay home!!!”
Me: “… ”  WTF??!?!

Is this real life?!?!  I was never so happy to get out of a taxi and onto BART.  I don’t know what I would have done if it was a longer trip.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. May 10, 2019 1:43 pm

    Ugh that’s the worst!! I usually just try to avoid talking to them. I remember when I first bought my apartment, when I was single, another homeowner (and old guy) asked me if I bought it with my husband. Excuse me, I don’t need a husband to buy an apartment! And I’m not married! And you just presumed I’m interested in men!

  2. May 11, 2019 7:52 am

    Ew, that guy sounds awful. Reminds me of one time when I was traveling and taking a cab from the airport to a friend’s house, the driver kept looking at me in his rearview mirror and asking me if I was single (“no”), was I sure I wasn’t not single (“yes”), really really sure (“yes”), did I want to go clubbing with him (“no”), was the friend I was visiting single (“yes, but I don’t think he’s your type?”). I feel like there should be an anthology out there: Stuck in Confined Spaces with Creepy Men.

    • May 11, 2019 9:21 am

      It is stupid how many women have similar stories. Even though I’ve had 99% good rides, these rides really creep me out.

      Lyft/Uber drivers should be forbidden from asking patrons to hang out. (and maybe there are but it doesn’t matter because they aren’t “real” employees.) That also happened to me once and it… is just creepy and uncomfortable because after you say no, you are still trapped. In my case, at least he didn’t ask until I was already getting out of the car so I at least felt safe.

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