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September and October Wrap Up

November 1, 2020

Net Worth and Money News

We are settled into our refinance with our new lower payment. Immediately after closing, our refinance company sold the mortgage to the bank we already bank at, which is very convenient.

Our net worth is down with the stock market, setting us about 3 months back in time.

We’re still fully employed, but my raise was cancelled this year (has been about 4-5% most years) and I haven’t been able to push for a promotion that is roughly due. It is on my managers radar, but… I don’t know. It doesn’t seem that important right now, even though this stuff adds up over time.


Like so many others, I have coronavirus fatigue. I’m so so tired of this. Just like the rest of the world.

I’m grateful that I have childcare that feels mostly safe, and that local new case counts are on the low side right now (~5/100k daily new cases)… but trending back up a bit. Childcare makes my life possible, and didn’t force me into a position of needing to decide if I should quit or scale back my job in order to survive.

I’m pretty devastated at the thought of not seeing my family in person again for quite a while. It has been about a year since my mom has seen LO (and me) in person. We FaceTime frequently, but it just isn’t the same. I think I’m going to put the kibosh on their idea of driving out here for the holidays, because I don’t think it is worth the effort or the risk. If things haven’t changed by spring, we will figure out a way to make something happen. Their idea is to quarantine for a modest amount of time (days), get tested, then drive out stopping in motels. They are generally cautious, but my mom works as a nurse and cannot stay home for 14 days. I don’t think my mom could mentally handle the idea of getting on a plane, even if we could find evidence of it being lower risk. I don’t know if it is or not. They are in a major hotspot right now, and I don’t know how much that will change by December, given the lack of local restrictions and a strong “COVID is a hoax” culture. I just found out several of my relatives in the hotspot have tested positive (including my cousin’s pregnant wife), although no one is seriously ill at the moment. My cousin that runs a daycare may be exposed, but is not getting tested because she can’t afford to shut down. 😦 I’m also hearing stories of teachers testing positive and being at school again a week later.

It feels like the whole country has given up. I know this isn’t completely true, but it also isn’t false. Even if we have relatively conservative policies statewide and locally, what happens in the rest of the country and world affects us all.

I’m nervous that case numbers will grow too high and we’ll have to pull LO from daycare, which will be a disaster. We’ll probably have to keep paying for it too, unless the state/county mandates closure. If that happens, maybe I would take actual leave rather than trying to do everything again. It would be tough to step back from my roles, though. ::::sigh:::


Nothing to report here. I haven’t caught up on tracking, nor have any exciting large purchases to report.

Food spending continues to be high. I’ve stopped using InstaCart, mostly because the prices seemed very inflated and the pricing is not transparent. Also, there were some mistakes. I’m mostly using Whole Foods delivery, Costco delivery (2 day shipping, not fresh stuff), occasionally Amazon Fresh for things Whole Foods doesn’t carry, and Good Eggs. Good Eggs is a bit pricey, but they have meal kits that are fast/easy/healthy and they seem like an ethical company. (Blue Apron meals had more steps even if they weren’t hard.) I mostly use them when I’m too overwhelmed to meal plan, but am trying to get away from it..

House Projects

I think we are are on a break from these after the roof…


Aside from my monthly donations, I’m failing to make serious progress here, at least in terms of racial justice.

Like many, I was devastated by RBG’s death, and the new supreme court judge appointment. I’m just burnt out.


My long term project had a bit of a train wreck recently, caused by a sequence of human errors and also issues with the hardware that we ar uncovering as we try to use more functionality. Our process checkpoints failed, including places where I feel like I could have caught something. (It turns out the train wreck was basically not preventable, but I could have mitigated one error.) It’s been rough, but it is maybe getting back on track now. It’s going to be a bit of a scramble through early January, then I’ll get to take a deep breath. I hope.

My newer project is also not going well, and it might end up fizzling next summer. I hope not, but it is a real possibility. I’m only working on this at about 10%, mostly because I’m too busy with the above. I also am trying to get up to speed on an even newer project that has a better prognosis (but is scheduled to go through next September if all goes well).


LO is wonderful. Exploding with words and phrases and full of joy. She surprises us daily with new words.

“Whole moon!” she exclaimed on Halloween, marveling at the bright moon.

“Next song!” she calls out during my singing to her in the car, just like I say to Spotify playing on Google home. Ok, then!

She is getting more opinionated, and able to express her demands. “Different! Different!” if she wants a new shirt or book or whatever. “Two! Two!” she cries out during FaceTime with my parents, asking for them to both get into the frame.

T and I are doing OK. My parents are OK and trying to stay safe in the hotspot. My siblings are doing OK.

I’m just hoping this election brings something to be optimistic about…

2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 1, 2020 3:11 pm

    That’s funny and convenient that your new mortgage got sold to your current bank. 🙂

    I haven’t seen my parents in over a year now, which is getting super weird. People start to feel less real when you don’t see them in person in a way. I’m sorry about the train wreck your long term project at work had.

    Thank you for the tip about Costco delivery! I had no idea they did that. Thank you for sharing some of LO’s joy with us!

  2. November 2, 2020 10:36 pm

    Absolutely fatigued by the constant state of flux and the feeling that even though some haven’t, enough people seem to have just thrown in the towel on this that we’re not going to get past this any time soon. I can’t believe how frustrating it is to know that people in other countries that we know are going about their everyday lives and we’re basically still isolated. But we won’t give up the precautions. Even if it feels out of step with other people. We’re lucky that the few locals we do see at all are all careful, masked and distanced and outdoors, and taking it seriously enough that we can see anybody at all. As it is, JB hasn’t gotten to play with a kid their age since this whole thing started.

    I keep wondering when and if we’ll be able to use childcare again … I miss having some kind of help. But I’m doing my best to learn to sit with the uncertainty.

    Fingers crossed that your work gets back on the right track so you don’t have to worry about that!

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