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2023 Q1 Wrap up

March 10, 2023

Quarterly seems like a reasonable frequency for me to look at our finances and overall household progress, although I will not commit to doing it.


I’m going to start here today.

Early in the year, I finally lost my cool waiting for my promotion and raise details to be finalized, after realizing it had been in the works for over a year (although I was getting compensated for the raise while it was worked). I’m not sure whether that email helped the situation move faster – but I got word that my raise / compensation has been approved at every place it needs to be approved, and it is final!!!!! I’m super grateful/relieved. Bizarrely, my title change that justifies this raise is still stuck in some separate approval cycle (?!?!), but I’m mostly not concerned about that for the moment.

Work itself has also been good – exciting, challenging, and moving forward. I caught myself getting overly emotionally invested in some frustrations with our major partner (and believe me – they are a frustrating bunch). But, I’m working both on not getting too worked up, and even more so, not letting my annoyance at them cloud any technical decisions that need to be made. I’ve gotten “distracted” by near term work stuff at our own site, so less mental energy spent rolling my eyes at them.

I’m beginning to think about my proposal to my manager for how I can work during sabbatical. It’s a little tricky, since we are moving into a much more “hands on” stage of the project. On the other hand, we are supposed to have a period of “hibernation” in the fall, which will work out perfectly. The worst case scenario is that I take a leave of absence. The best case scenario is a level of remote support (whatever makes mutual sense) as well as participation in a few key events, which I’ll travel for, possibly/probably on my own dime per company policy. Others have done similar things, but the whole international part is a little more complex.


Our new windows finally went in, and the money for them finally went out! I’m thrilled with the windows and really have to give credit to T for making all of the detailed decisions to specify them. I weighed in on some things early on, then mostly just agreed with his recommendations from there. There is some minor finish work that we need to do (painting trim, staining indoor trim) but it has been a nice upgrade during the late stages of this cold winter.

We’ve also been decluttering things and letting go of what is no longer useful, partially in preparation for getting our house (eventually) ready to rent. The benefit of living in a smallish 1950s California home with limited closet storage is that we already are relatively judicious about what we buy.keep. Still – closets and garages and cupboards slowly fill up over time, from a satisfying state of organization into chaos. I can’t stand clutter in my visible space – it is very distracting to me. But getting out of my sight and into closet is sometimes I can manage, even if i don’t have energy to properly declutter.

I try to give away anything of potential value in a neighborhood buy nothing group, which is pretty good for kids toys and household items. For the most part clothes go to textile recycling. Kids clothes/shoes can be passed along usually. I was able to give away a few of my “nicer” tops on Buy Nothing, but mostly it is not worth it. Reselling is also not really worth it.


Nothing very exciting to report here, aside from what is noted above – windows cost us money, my raise is finalized. Our net worth is slightly down from last month, but mostly recovered from the dip.

I imported all of our spending, but haven’t had time to think about it yet. We did a bit of spending on home an personal items. We got a set of water/drinking glasses to replace our mismatched set, and a set of wine glasses.

I bought some new bras for the first time in a LONG time (pretty sure the last bra I bought was a nursing bra). I’m trying to buy a new pair of jeans, but so far have returned every pair I have ordered to try on. Jeans are impossible these days, I can’t figure out the styles, and everything is so stretchy. I’m trying to slightly update my work/life wardrobe since styles have changed so significantly since I last purchased any work clothes, but also trying to keep it relatively minimal. Also, not sure how to do fashion anymore.


LO is in a pretty amazing, sweet, and easy age. I have a lot of fun hanging out with her, and I’m excited that we can (sort of) play some basic family games with her. Her favorite way to play is still imaginative games (we play a lot of Anna and Elsa themed games), but we can get in some Uno, Dominoes, and Guess Who? every now and then too. She also really loves drawing and art, and practicing all of her climbing skills at various playgrounds. Her preschool classroom is a better mix of ages and personalities this year, and she seems really happy there.

T is also pretty amazing, although maybe he’s at a less easy age these days πŸ˜‰ He’s had a busy semester, and has been frustrated with various university policies/decisions/bureaucracy. Sabbatical will be a super welcome change of pace for him.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 2, 2023 4:40 pm

    Has your raise gone live or does it have to wait for the title approval? I hope for the former!

    Fingers crossed that the timing for your travel and your work needs mesh well.

    Were the new windows upgrades from what you had earlier? I can’t recall if you had double pane already.

    I can’t stand clutter in my visible space, either, it really eats at my ability to focus so I have to spend some more time today getting things in “good enough” order for the week. We need to tackle a lot more decluttering overall to phase out the younger-infant level toys that have built up.

    Do you prefer non-stretchy jeans or jeans with less stretch than what’s out there now? I inherited a stack of Old Navy jeans from a friend’s friend which was an opportunity for me to figure out my size. They’re from before she had kids so the styles are probably a decade old but they fit and I don’t know style anyway so it all works out πŸ™‚

    • April 17, 2023 9:30 am

      The raise is active and permanent (the first round of it was “temporary” for a year while title change was worked). I have no idea what the deal is with the title, but $ speaks louder than words in this case.

      Non stretch jeans! I am trying out some of the new styles with boxer cuts and higher rises, but still getting used to them, and they never seem to be as long as I want them to be…

      • April 17, 2023 10:55 am

        GOOD. Definitely in favor of the money coming first. I care way more about that than a title.

        Fingers crossed that you can find the right longer non-stretch jeans. I seem to remember liking my Lucky brand jeans years ago, which weren’t stretch. Maybe that’s a possible brand for you?

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